Today has been an amazing day. We got approved for an apartment! Thank God, my son will be out of that house and in one with me. I am so excited. Things in my life have really been looking up. Although, the estranged wants to not give me what he is supposed to. i am not to into all that....he has screwed me over so bad, he owes me. Bad. I don't give a fuck about anything about him anymore. For the longest time I punished myself. I thought that it was me, but then I just sat down one day, and realized, it was never me. This started from the very beginning. I won't repeat why I think that, but I do. I don't think my marriage was for real, it was a fraud. It was for benefits, that now he claims are taken away. (His Bah and such) Which is actually what should be paying for my apartment. I am going to do so much with myself after this. He has only fucked me over, but showed me that men can still be fucked up at his age. Not to let myself in all the way. I am having a fabulous time right now, and when I think of him, sometimes I get sad, but now, I am moreso for him, and how incredibably stupid he was. He had a GREAT woman. GREAT...and now, someone else gets to have me. And God, I will not let him down for anything. As I know he wont let me down. My life...is just amazing. I laugh, I don't cry every day. I can't wait to get back in school. I'm not to old..I thought I was, but I think, I'm at my prime. I'm not slipping back to a void of nothingness, I'm moving to the lighter side of the day..and yes, im still goth. lol The only thing that I am just surprised by is, my ex hates me so much, he writes my parents so nice, but wont call me at all, only texts me hate texts, and emails me mean messages. Seriously, is he that stupid to realize what he threw away? I really believe he is. Have a great night! I am!
I have been going through hell lately. Some people say, after the worst, you get the best. I hope that is right. I am not going to describe what i am going through..but i do feel like writing a poem..so...read if you wish..
Lost inside a sea of darkness
I still see your smling face
I forget about the world
and drift to my imaginary place.
I love like no other
I lust like a temptress in the night
but you have nothing to worry about
I am always in sight.
Shut your eyes
imagine me there
tell me your wishes
for someone like you is so rare.
You haven't hurt me
how surprising this has become
it is something that i cant stop
something that can't be undone
No spell in the world
will take you far away
I will counteract them
and find you even in your darkest day.
So fear nothing my love
I will protect you against any fight
I will walk with you until blood starts to fall
then i will walk with you again in the night.
Happy New Years! Yeah, all of ya. I hope you all have a wonderful day. I'll write more tonight, but rightnow, i want to upload some pretty pretty pictures!! :)