January 31,2011

Moving day!! After every hurricane, they say a rainbow appears. If that's what's happening with me, I love it! The rooms are huge, bathrooms amazing, and the new comforter is to die for! Today started off shaky, but it quickly turned around. We went shopping n since my ex stole and trashed all my items, I upgraded a lot. Can't wait for tomorrow! Nite.

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January 29, 2011

Today has been an amazing day. We got approved for an apartment! Thank God, my son will be out of that house and in one with me. I am so excited. Things in my life have really been looking up. Although, the estranged wants to not give me what he is supposed to. i am not to into all that....he has screwed me over so bad, he owes me. Bad. I don't give a fuck about anything about him anymore. For the longest time I punished myself. I thought that it was me, but then I just sat down one day, and realized, it was never me. This started from the very beginning. I won't repeat why I think that, but I do. I don't think my marriage was for real, it was a fraud. It was for benefits, that now he claims are taken away. (His Bah and such) Which is actually what should be paying for my apartment. I am going to do so much with myself after this. He has only fucked me over, but showed me that men can still be fucked up at his age. Not to let myself in all the way. I am having a fabulous time right now, and when I think of him, sometimes I get sad, but now, I am moreso for him, and how incredibably stupid he was. He had a GREAT woman. GREAT...and now, someone else gets to have me. And God, I will not let him down for anything. As I know he wont let me down. My life...is just amazing. I laugh, I don't cry every day. I can't wait to get back in school. I'm not to old..I thought I was, but I think, I'm at my prime. I'm not slipping back to a void of nothingness, I'm moving to the lighter side of the day..and yes, im still goth. lol The only thing that I am just surprised by is, my ex hates me so much, he writes my parents so nice, but wont call me at all, only texts me hate texts, and emails me mean messages. Seriously, is he that stupid to realize what he threw away? I really believe he is. Have a great night! I am!

January 24,2011

Sometimes I wonder how people can be so cruel. So greedy. What is the point ? when you die it will be alone , not with anyone that loves you. I think it's pathetic how some husbands treat their wives, and vice versa. Get a clue, If ure out running around and your wife is starving because you can't give her 20 dollars. YOU are the problem , not her. End.

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The day the sun didnt rise Jan 19,2011

I have been going through hell lately. Some people say, after the worst, you get the best. I hope that is right. I am not going to describe what i am going through..but i do feel like writing a poem..so...read if you wish..

Lost inside a sea of darkness
I still see your smling face
I forget about the world
and drift to my imaginary place.

I love like no other
I lust like a temptress in the night
but you have nothing to worry about
I am always in sight.

Shut your eyes
imagine me there
tell me your wishes
for someone like you is so rare.

You haven't hurt me
how surprising this has become
it is something that i cant stop
something that can't be undone

No spell in the world
will take you far away
I will counteract them
and find you even in your darkest day.

So fear nothing my love
I will protect you against any fight
I will walk with you until blood starts to fall
then i will walk with you again in the night.

December 31, 2010

Happy New Years! Yeah, all of ya. I hope you all have a wonderful day. I'll write more tonight, but rightnow, i want to upload some pretty pretty pictures!!   :)

December 29, 2010

Sick. Dont have much to talk about, I have been sick all day. I still feel sick and burning up. It is about 49 degrees so i dont get it! Pray i dont have the flu!! Goodnite lj!